Traffic Ticket

Lois gets a traffic ticket and immediately blames Francis and makes him get the money to her. To do this, Francis stages a stunt for the other cadets' amusement. Malcolm finds evidence that Lois was wrong about the traffic ticket.

Water Park (1)

When the family goes to a water park for a day, Dewey is left home with an elderly, stern babysitter. Francis is hustled at pocket billiards by his military-school commandant.

Rontagion

Now that she's sleeping with the Illuminati, Reagan decides it's time for the Cognito Inc. gang to meet Ron and persuade him to jump ship.

Communication Studies

As Valentine's Day finds Jeff struggling with his feelings for Britta and Professor Slater, Pierce and Troy are wrongly blamed for a prank.

I'm Going to Miss This

Mitchell is having a hard time letting go of his old life and Gloria steps in to help him say goodbye. Meanwhile, Haley, Luke and Alex decide to throw a party at the Dunphy house when Claire and Phil leave for a trip, and Dylan’s mom takes the twins for the night.

Red Alert

Lily has reached a womanly milestone that Cam and Mitch are not prepared for – at all – so they call in reinforcements.

Wine Weekend

The family goes on a wine tasting trip and stays in Haley’s new boss’ country house where the only rule is: Don’t touch the tiara! Meanwhile, Gloria and Mitch are invited to a party at Oprah’s house but can’t bring anyone else.

Basketball

After choking at last year’s charity basketball game, Phil has been training all year to redeem himself. However, when NBA stars Charles Barkley and DeAndre Jordan attend the game and start making bets, Phil tries to not buckle under the pressure. Meanwhile, Gloria has to step-up at Manny’s school when her nemesis, Donna Duncan, tries to shame her for her lack of support at the school. Finally, Claire does whatever it takes to keep a work mistake secret from Jay, while Jay’s concerned that Joe doesn’t have a healthy fear of him at all.