NutriBoom
After realizing they were suckered into a pyramid scheme, Jake and Charles try to take down the cultish group. Amy deals with an overeager officer.
Moo Moo
After getting stopped and mistreated by an unfamiliar cop, Terry receives some disappointing advice from Holt about how to handle the profiling.
Valentine's Day
The Dunder-Mifflin staffers join in kindergarten-like festivities for Valentine's Day while Michael heads to New York City for a conference with the corporate heads. After showing the documenters a tour of his favorite city, Michael accidentally lets slip to the others at the conference that he and Jan hooked up, and he finds himself in hot water when Jan and the new CFO of Dunder-Mifflin hear the story. Back in Scranton, Pam becomes irked when she discovers that Roy hasn't gotten her anything for Valentine's Day, Dwight struggles to find a gift for Angela, and Kelley talks off Jim's ear about her rather desperate affections for Ryan, who is less than interested.
House Mouses
Jake persuades Scully and Hitchcock to take over a drug bust so he can help out with a "celebrity" matter. But neither case is what the team expected.
New Slogan
Leslie aims to create a new town slogan, but runs afoul of local shock jocks. Andy scouts bands to play the Unity Concert and discovers an interesting secret about Ron, while Tom looks for a restaurant locale with Donna and April.
Bailout
Leslie is determined to help a local video store stay in business, while Chris offers Tom advice on how to deal with a difficult employee. Elsewhere, Ann resorts to blackmail to get April to be her friend.
The Wednesday Incident
Jake is determined to prove that he's not to blame for Holt's bad mood, and when Charles catches a notorious bank robber, nobody believes him.
ICE AGE
A young couple moves into an apartment and finds a lost civilization inside their antique freezer.
The Party
At Capt. Holt's birthday party, Jake, Amy and the other officers try to make a good impression on Holt's husband but fail miserably.
John Mayer Has a Sing-Off While Eating Spicy Wings
John Mayer is a platinum-selling singer-songwriter with seven Grammys on the mantle and a preternatural ability to shred the guitar, but how is he with hot food? Find out as Mayer goes toe to toe with the wings of death, tackling anything and everything along the way: Justin Bieber's melody wizardry, the best guitar faces in history, his obsession with Visvim, living in Montana, the musicality of Dave Chappelle's comedy, and so much more. And, because this is the grand finale of season 5, there's a very special surprise at the end of the episode to send all you spicelords off into the sunset.