Everything Must Go
When Barney and Abby realize that they have one thing in common – their mutual hatred of Ted – the "couple" decides to go to the bar to flaunt their new relationship in Ted's face.
Bachelor Party
Robin attends Lily's bridal shower and finds the gift that she brought is out of place. Barney hires a stripper for Marshall's bachelor party.
Mary the Paralegal
Robin is nominated to receive an award for a news report and everyone needs a date to take to the show. Barney introduces Ted to Mary as a date that Ted can take to the show. Originally Ted is opposed to the idea of just trying to save face in front of Robin but when she shows up with a date he changes his mind. Robin asks Mary lots of questions, and Ted begins to really like Mary, despite her occupation.
Zoo or False
When Marshall gets mugged, Lily decides she wants to get a gun for protection, so Marshall comes up with a convoluted story about the mugging to deter Lily from following through.
Legendaddy
Barney meets his father and is shocked by the differences in their lives. The rest of the gang learn their "gaps"; knowledge they should have by now, but don't.
The Broath
The gang tries to break up Barney and Quinn after learning they plan on moving in together, leaving Robin and Ted to fight over who deserves to sublet her apartment.
The Fortress
Barney reluctantly attempts to sell his apartment by holding an open house, during which Ted and Marshall get mistaken for a couple. Tension arises between Lily and Marshall when her new job causes her to spend less time at home.
Live Ammo
Leslie discovers that the Parks Department budget is about to be cut, and she later meets the City Council member she is running to replace. Chris and Ron visit a meditation center.
Park Safety
After Jerry gets mugged by a bunch of kids, Leslie meets with the head park ranger in hopes of improving park safety. Meanwhile, everyone tries to be nicer to Jerry once he returns to the office.
The Future Dunphys
At the hospital Claire and Phil see the older version of their family; Mitchell and Cameron plan a day for Lily and Gloria; Manny and Jay go to a private school to look around.