Wine Weekend
The family goes on a wine tasting trip and stays in Haley’s new boss’ country house where the only rule is: Don’t touch the tiara! Meanwhile, Gloria and Mitch are invited to a party at Oprah’s house but can’t bring anyone else.
Spanks for the Memories
When Jay overhears Gloria on the phone talking about spanking, he assumes she is frustrated in the bedroom. When he attempts to light the spark again by giving her exactly what she wants, he realizes he might have made a mistake. Meanwhile, now that Mitchell has an amazing new job, he and Cam throw a party to rub it in Cam’s friends’ faces so they can no longer give him “the look of pity”.
Written in the Stars
Phil thinks that Gloria is upset at Jay for dropping the ball on Valentine’s Day, so he convinces Jay to spice things up with a little role playing that doesn’t go off as planned. Meanwhile, Mitch and Cam may have unwittingly ruined Luke’s Valentine’s Day date and are forced to make things right.
In Your Head
When Luke goes missing after a night out in a sketchy neighborhood, Manny, Phil and Gloria team up to track him down. Meanwhile, Haley is desperate to land an interview with the creator of a popular lifestyle website and interrupts Alex during one of her college classes. Alex’s professor, Arvin Fennerman, then proceeds to try and give Haley a piece of his mind.
Dear Beloved Family
Gloria has to rush Phil to the hospital for an emergency surgery after he experiences some intense stomach pains and rallies the entire family to be by his side.
He Said, She Shed
Claire’s request to build a “She Shed” in their backyard is denied by the homeowners association and only Luke and Phil know the real reason why. Meanwhile Pameron lets Cam in on a family secret that forces him to visit Mitch’s therapist to work through this new information.
No Small Feet
When Claire lands a big opportunity for Pritchett’s Closets, Jay expects a little validation for his contribution; and Pam’s ex-boyfriend Bo shows up and Mitchell sees this as the perfect opportunity to get Pam out of the house. Meanwhile, Luke and Alex stumble upon a successful online business that finally gets them on their feet.
Tough Love
After leaving his real estate firm to strike out on his own, Phil decides a solo camping trip in the wild will be just what he needs to boost his confidence. Meanwhile, Mitchell’s plan to teach Cam a lesson in gullibility and Lily a lesson in responsibility backfires.
Brushes with Celebrity
The Pritchett-Dunphy-Tucker clan recount all their biggest celebrity encounters. Phil shows a house to his musical hero, Coldplay’s Chris Martin, and is determined to make a good impression despite the intense pain radiating from a very inconvenient part of his body. Meanwhile, Jay’s day at jury duty takes an unexpected turn when he gets to serve it alongside one of America’s biggest football icons. Finally, Manny’s encounter with his favorite playwright and a celebrated actor and comedian don’t go exactly as you’d expect.
Winner Winner Turkey Dinner
During Jay's Thanksgiving toast, he honors the entire family on their recent successes, even though everyone knows that isn't quite true. As everyone desperately tries to hide the facts about their perceived triumphs, Phil works hard to master a classic magic trick and prove he's not the family failure.