Five Minutes
So much can happen to the Pritchett-Dunphy-Tucker clan in five minutes! Mitch and Cam have five minutes to catch a new flight while fighting the effects of sleeping pills they took prematurely. Then at Rainer’s birthday dinner, Haley and Rainer are forced to reevaluate their entire relationship in the five minutes before the birthday cake arrives. Meanwhile, Phil and Claire pay a surprise visit to Alex and are given a five-minute surprise introduction to her new boyfriend. Finally, with only five minutes to catch a movie, Manny has to find the perfect parking space and endure Jay and Gloria’s backseat argument.
Pig Moon Rising
Mitchell knocks over an urn filled with the ashes of Cameron's beloved pet pig Lilly while exercising in the garage, but Cameron suspects his cover-up is a load of hogwash.
Basketball
After choking at last year’s charity basketball game, Phil has been training all year to redeem himself. However, when NBA stars Charles Barkley and DeAndre Jordan attend the game and start making bets, Phil tries to not buckle under the pressure. Meanwhile, Gloria has to step-up at Manny’s school when her nemesis, Donna Duncan, tries to shame her for her lack of support at the school. Finally, Claire does whatever it takes to keep a work mistake secret from Jay, while Jay’s concerned that Joe doesn’t have a healthy fear of him at all.
Finding Fizbo
Cam is enraged when he receives an online video showing someone has been desecrating his beloved Fizbo costume, which sets him on a quest to restore Fizbo’s good name. Meanwhile, Phil is in for quite the surprise when he finally meets his new soon-to-be step-brother at Frank’s bachelor party. Finally, Manny’s newest play hits a little too close to home for Gloria, Claire and Haley when he enlists them to do a read through before he submits it to a young playwright festival.
Heavy Is the Head
Despite their lofty hopes, Phil and Jay's property investment might turn out to be a bust, forcing Phil to rethink his original dream. Meanwhile, Cam lands in the hospital due to a head injury and refuses to have an MRI thanks to a traumatic incident with a well when he was a child. Determined to finally impress Claire and keep her from re-gifting her birthday present, Gloria surprises her with a day of luxury at the office. However, after Claire had to implement some rather harsh budget cuts at work, a massage at her desk may not be sending the right message.
Do It Yourself
Feeling empowered after his successful do-it-yourself project, Phil convinces Jay to co-invest in a property he has always wanted to develop. Meanwhile, Claire’s new obsession with a TV chef and her new love of cooking Sunday dinners hasn’t been as tasty as she thinks. Haley is the family’s only hope to add a little spice to the situation. At the Pritchett-Tucker house, Cam and Mitchell see that the family is too reliant on technology, so they attempt to teach Lily the importance of hard work, which ends disastrously. Back at the Pritchett’s, Jay feels replaced when he sees Gloria has hired Coach Gary to coach Joe and serve as a handy man.
Do You Believe In Magic
Fearful that the romance between him and Claire is fizzling, Phil calls upon his altar ego, Clive Bixby, to get Valentines day back on track. Meanwhile, much to Gloria’s chagrin, Jay shows a bit of child favoritism when they must deal with Joe’s inappropriate Valentine gift-giving and Manny’s dating indecisiveness. When Cam and Mitch try to empower Lily, Haley and Sal to stand up to the men in their lives, things don’t turn out as planned. Finally, Alex discovers she has a secret admirer who may be a little too involved with family.
Sarge & Pea
Cam is incensed that an anonymous and rude parent robbed him of a precious Lily moment during her recent dance recital. While he and Hayley visit Alex at her coffee shop the next day, he thinks he recognizes the culprit and goes to extremes to uncover her identity, and give her a peace of his mind. Meanwhile, Jay, Claire and Mitch attend a family wedding and unexpectedly run into Dede at the reception. Afraid their parents are going to once again make a scene, Mitch and Claire devise a plan to keep them apart. Finally, Phil and Gloria are on a college tour with Luke and Manny, and have very different ways of getting the boys ready to head out on this new adventure and also learning to let go.
Ringmaster Keifth
Trying to recover from his Thanksgiving debacle, Cam decides to treat the family to a New Year's Day feast. After realizing that Cam's recent attempt is also a complete fail and in order to salvage their meal, Mitch uses a "concierge gift card" that he received as a Christmas gift. Cam soon discovers that the concierge who is on his way to save the day is none other than his ex-boyfriend, Keifth, a former circus ringmaster who left him without saying goodbye. Meanwhile, Phil's dad, Frank arrives with his new girlfriend, who happens to be Phil's childhood babysitter, which sets him on a confusing tailspin. Finally, Gloria and Jay have to decide who should take care of little Joe if something should ever happen to them.
Snow Ball
When Manny and Luke put on the school’s lavish winter dance and end up over their heads due to a texting error, it is up to them to fix it before the end of the night. Meanwhile, Gloria, Claire, Mitchell and Cam all volunteer at the dance while Jay’s thinly veiled guise to get out of it by pretending to want to spend time with Phil backfires. During the dance, Claire and Gloria attempt to set up Marjorie, an overbearing mom, with the school’s principal. Finally, Mitchell is unnerved to be back in high school and is shocked to see a lot of himself in the school bully and feels he needs a little guidance.